Na via lerno victoria
by Kalisca
Summary: Ninth prompt of my 30 Kisses Challenge: Insult. "I wanted to apologize about what I said earlier... I didn't mean to insult you." "Really? Because if I recall correctly, you said that all the people of the Faith were 'lunatics believing in God who didn't even exist because they weren't able to believe in themselves'". FenrisxSebastian


**This is the ninth prompt of my 30 Kisses Challenge, using 30 random words I picked with a word generator. The challenge will not be centered on one specific pairing or fandom.**

**The word was **_**insult**_** (The complete list is available on my profile page).**

**The title means "**_**Only the living know victory**_**" in Tevene.**

**Disclaimer: The universe and characters of Dragon Age II belong to Bioware.**

**Na via lerno victoria**

Sometimes Fenris really knew how to make people hate him. Having a social life was quite new to him, it has been three years since he had met Hawke after all, but still, he should have learned to think before speaking.

Thus the reason he was in the Chantry, seeking Sebastian to apologize. He asked the Revered Mother, who indicated him his room.

He hesitated before knocking on the door. He heard some fumbling on the other side, and then Sebastian was opening the door, an arm sliding into the sleeve of his white tunic. He saw a mix of emotions flick into his blue eyes.

"Fenris" His voice didn't hide his surprise to see him.

"Sebastian, I'm sorry to disturb you at such an hour, but..." Fenris hesitated again, looked away for a second, but forced the words out of his mouth. "I wanted to apologize about what I said earlier... I didn't mean to **insult **you."

"Really? Because if I recall correctly, you said that all the people of the Faith were '_lunatics believing in God who didn't even exist because they weren't able to believe in themselves_'".

Fenris shifted on his feet, unconfortable under Sebastian's angry glare.

"I am truly sorry. I was angry at everything at the time, and I childishly wanted someone to be as... hurt and angry as me." He knew that wasn't a good excuse, but it was still the truth.

Sebastian took a moment to observe him, not replying to his apologies. He finally sighed, and invited him inside his small but cozy room. Fenris retrieved the bottle of wine he had took from Danarius' cellar and handed it to the man of Faith.

"I brought this for you."

Sebastian examined the label and hummed to himself. "This is a fine wine, Fenris, but I, on top of not believing in myself, don't drink."

Fenris blushed, ashamed of saying that of Sebastian, but the other seemed to only tease him. "I could make an exception for tonight, though."

He fetched two glasses before sitting at the table, and the warrior joined him. The table wasn't fit for both of them, and so their knees bumped against each other. He let Sebastian serve them, green eyes still trying to figure out if the human was angry at him or not. It was always hard for him to know what the other was thinking. Sebastian took a sip of the wine and thanked him for the gift.

"Tell me now, why do you think those who believe in the Maker can't also believe in themselves?"

Fenris sipped his own wine, taking courage in its rich aroma.

"It was something Danarius once told me. Magisters don't recognize the existence of the Maker, not only because He prohibits their habits, but also because they think that putting their fate into another's hands, even superior ones, would do nothing but bring them to their death. An act of foolishness that'd bring their guard down, vulnerable to the next strike, and magisters aren't known to hold alliance for long, after all."

Not used to speak for that long, he took a gulp of the drink, feeling it burn down his throat and warm up his belly. Sebastian had that serenity around him that always calmed him and made him comfortable.

"I see... Is this what you think too, that if you put your life into someone else's hands, it's going to get you killed?"

"I've been a slave for most of the life I remember, Sebastian, so no, the idea doesn't attract me."

"Even if the choice was all yours to make?" Sebastian leaned forward against the table, his elbows resting on it. How could forearms be so attractive? Fenris mildly asked himself. "From what I can see, I know Hawke would be honored to-"

He laughed at Fenris' look of distress.

"I know of Hawke's interest in my person, but I told her I wasn't interested."

"Is that why our leader has been looking so down these past few weeks?"

"Perhaps. It may have to do with what I also told her."

Sebastian was now curious to learn more, his blue eyes shining with interest. His muscled arms and torso became even more visible under his thin shirt when he crossed his arms against him. Fenris shifted his gaze, troubled and not wanting to show it.

"What did you tell her?" The archer asked.

"That I was interested in someone else."

"Oh?" Sebastian raised his eyebrows. Someone had actually managed to sneak past the handsome elf's barriers? "And who is that lucky person?" He casually asked, sipping his wine. He had forgot how enjoyable wine could be, especially when this good and in fine company.

"I'd rather not discuss further about this," awkwardly said Fenris, lowering his eyes.

"Fine by me," said Sebastian even though he was a bit disappointed. "But know that you can come to me to confess about anything anytime, if you ever feel the need."

Fenris abruptly raised from his chair, almost throwing it on the floor. He looked angry, for some reason.

"I shall take my leave. Goodnight, Sebastian."

Not knowing why Fenris was reacting in such a way to his offer, he looked at him without knowing what to say. It wasn't until he had left his room that he scrambled on his feet, determined to understand his mood swing. He didn't bother about a vest, it was summer and the nights were warm.

The elf was fast, he was already outside when Sebastian reached him.

"Fenris, wait!"

"You had to follow me..." The elf growled in annoyance.

"I had to understand why you left so quickly. Did I say something to anger you?"

Fenris turned around to face him, and they were much more closer than he had anticipated, but he didn't step back.

"Yes, the way you always want to help annoys me." He said harshly. "That and the fact you're the only one who never judged me despite my... bad manners."

"Why would I judge you?" Sebastian frowned. "Who would I be to do so? I also have done my fair share of mistakes in the past, but it doesn't change who I am today. Besides, you don't have bad manners, you speak your mind, and truthfully, I appreciate that."

Why couldn't he just get mad at him, scream at him? Why did he have to be so understanding? "Festis bei umo canavarum." He said between his teeth, now pissed.

"What does it mean?" Asked Sebastian, even more confused.

"It means that you'll be the death of me. You want to know who I have feelings for? Well, it's you, a Man of Faith. You're one of the few who ever understood me and now I'm... now I'm foolish enough to fall for someone who'll never be able to return my feelings."

Sebastian was shocked. "I... I don't know what to say, Fenris. You've always been a good friend to me, but..."

The warrior shook his head, as if it wasn't important anymore, before turning on his heels to quickly stride away.

"Fenris, do I need to pursue you throughout all of Kirkwall?" Asked Sebastian, following him.

"Go back to your Chantry, Brother."

"Maker's Breath, stop running away!" Shouted Sebastian in the middle of the street they were in. Sebastian never screamed, so it got Fenris' attention. He turned once again towards the taller man.

"You didn't let me finish," Sebastian said. The warm breeze was swiftling the elf's hair before his eyes, and he softly pushed them aside. Fenris' eyes were afraid, ashamed, unsure. "I need you to understand that I took vows, but you confessing your feelings for me, it... shattered my beliefs."

"You mean you also feel something for me?"

"By the Maker, you're the most gorgeous courageous person I ever met, of course I am."

Fenris smiled, and closed the distance between them. Sebastian wasn't allowed to do this, but he didn't care anymore. He took the elf in his arms and kissed him, and the elf eagerly responded, placing his hands on his broad shoulders.

Sebastian gently took his hand in his, smiling at him, and Fenris let the rogue lead him to his mansion.

**The end**

**When I first began to think about this fic, I had no idea it would turn into a religious argument. I want to state that what is said is not my opinion, but the one I think Fenris would have on the matter, so please don't take it personal. The Tevinter Imperium have refused the Maker if I recall correctly from one conversation in the game between Fenris and Sebastian, and further research made me learn that they have their own version of a chantry led by the Black Divine, but the real ruler of Tevinter is an Archon who has the right of veto, even above the gods. Hopefully I did understand that correctly.**

**I found it hard to handle Sebastian, because depending on what Hawke tell him, he changes of opinion between staying a man of Faith or returning to Starkhaven as its Prince, so I chose not to let Hawke's influence show, only Fenris'.**

**I hope you enjoyed!**


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